So many experience unthinkable and unbearable things during their life’s journey. Its those few, who find their way through the darkness, become strong and turn the bad around into something empowering and inspirational to help bring light to a world which is full of so much darkness. Doing so makes the world a better place. Nancy M. Sellers O’Bryan took control of her circumstance and became a survivor. She now is that inspiring light that brings those in need of strength out of the darkness. SayWhatNews had the pleasure in speaking with Mrs. O’Bryan about her life’s journey and mission to help our youth find their light.
SayWhatNews: Good morning Nancy and thank you for taking the time and speaking with SayWhatNews. Tell us who is Nancy M. Sellers O’Bryan?
Nancy: Well Nancy is a strong willed woman. I have been through many tough challenges that have molded me into the person I am today. I am an inspired author, a loving mother of 4 daughters, married to a wonderful husband of 3 years.. I tell stories through the windows of my past hurt and glorious present and future so that it can help someone else. I believe in giving back. It is better to give than to receive, we were all made to serve…
SayWhatNews: Growing up did you ever imagine or dream that you would one day become an inspirational author?
Nancy: Yes, I always wanted to be one. My stories in school captured the teacher’s eye. They pinned them up, I won prizes and I was very good at writing and spelling. I was an imaginative writer. I thought about things other people didn’t. I had a lot of dreams but some where, my path was detoured and my life was turned upside down looking for love in all the wrong places. After awhile, I was robbed of my esteem and ability to pursue my dreams. I encountered a lot of discouragement, let downs, failed relationships, but it seemed at the right time that I got it back so it would help other young girls and women who have been through what I have been through.
SayWhatNews: Tell us why you decided to write about your life’s journey (life story) and discuss the good, the bad and the ugly (in the new book “Bondage To Freedom“)?
Nancy: Well the title speaks for itself. I was tired of being bound by my inability to never please my dad even as an adult. I have yet to understand what the problem was with that. I lived my life always looking for that special pat on the back. I never got it and that’s when something clicked, “Nancy, live your life for who God called you and not other people!” I said to myself. I went on a spree of love chasing because my father never gave me what I needed. It was excuse after excuse and so on from him. Then it hit me to tell my story to finally let go of all the pain I felt over the years due to failed relationships, no love from home, being raped multiple times, the domestic issues and never having enough courage in the beginning to leave because I was in love and knew I wasn’t going to get it anywhere else, back then. I know different now. But most importantly, to forgive myself for making the many mistakes young girls do and that’s having a child when I was 15. I got tired of never being able to live that down within myself.
SayWhatNews: When did you come to the conclusion that you could inspire and motivate those who experienced and who are still dealing with hardship, domestic violence and etc.?
Nancy: Being a victim, now survivor, I had friends that didn’t understand that a black eye wasn’t love or being dragged a block down the street screaming and crying wasn’t love. So I decided that I had a story to tell, a mission from God so to speak. I strongly believe that the word of God is true. We are over comers by the word of our testimony. I see so many young girls and know of some that looked up to me and I felt like the mother when they called me with the news, “I’m pregnant.” They ranged from 15-17 yrs of age. That bothered me. Something in the communication area is wrong. So I planned to do something about that.
SayWhatNews: How hard was it to open that door which held all your darkest hours and bring them back into the light and re-live it to write and tell your story?
Nancy: IT WAS HARD!!!! Plain and simple. I skipped some years and when the first proof came it was 46 pages. I was like this isn’t a book. So my darling husband Fritz, who inspired me, loved past my pain said, “Baby, you don’t do those things anymore, just tell the story. I am with you 100%.” That right there made me go, you know what he’s right. So I spilled it, cried through it, and began forgiving as I was writing. It helped me. I had to and even if some people are mad, I believe if you aren’t guilty then don’t be mad. I mean mainly my family who goes through life trying to ignore the pain. I couldn’t. I had to expose the truth to set me free. I had so much un-forgiveness in me. Who wants to live like that? I gained my power and my life back.
SayWhatNews: Hmmm, a true cleansing of the soul. I believe we all need it at one time or another in our lives to move forward. Once you made the decision to write this book about your life’s journey, how long did it take to write?
Nancy: It was less than a year. I write from the top of my head so there weren’t any notes, I write freestyle. I actually finished and published 2 books in a year and the next year had the other 2 done, just waiting to get a publishing house and the money…
SayWhatNews: The title of the book “Bondage To Freedom” is strong and meaningful, how did you come up with the name?
Nancy: People don’t understand that unreleased emotions keep you in bondage leading to physical illness, and mental issues. That wasn’t going to happen to me. I wanted to be free from my life’s bad experiences. Forgiving ourselves is the hardest thing to do.
SayWhatNews: In your book “Bondage To Freedom” you speak very strongly about sex before marriage calling it “the sacred bond meant for marriage“. The most compelling statement that sticks out is when you wrote “They (younger people) have gone wild and have no clue to the spirits that they come in contact with every time they switch partners”. Wow, that’s very powerful and speaks volumes. Why did you feel the need to speak about this?
Nancy: God created sex, but Lucifer tainted the very meaning of it. I know you may not have Christ in your life but the truth of it all is it creates souls ties. Example. If you have dated more than 7 men and have been intimate with them, try to remember you and your girlfriends comparing notes or even trying to be in a relation with your new guy and he isn’t pleasing you, you say…Oh so and so was better. That’s a soul tie. You just created a mental image of your past lover in the current relationship, a form a infidelity especially if you are married. It’s not just the sperm that goes into a woman. That’s why a woman’s uterus is called a womb, sort of a tomb, (to hold) you are letting in spirits as well as men and all the people he ever slept with too. So in reality you are carrying every person those 7 men slept with. You may not believe it but it’s true. Emotions are caught up and by the time our kids are 21 they’ve been heart broken. Why are we concentrating so much on love so soon instead of loving yourself. Our kids are broken before the age of 30.
SayWhatNews: It all starts at home. The one thing Parents never teach their daughters is to respect their body as a “throne”. Not everyone is privileged to even approach the “throne” let-a-lone sit on it/touch it.
Because you became a mother at a young age your father told you that “you would never amount to anything”. How hurtful was that? And how empowering was it when you were able to prove him wrong?
Nancy: I was always one that didn’t accept what someone said to me. So when my father said that I had to prove him wrong. I walked across the stage 2 years later than planned but I did it and of course he was right there as if he had something to do with it, you know what he did. The bibles says he will make your enemies your foot stool. But I don’t gloat I just embrace my dreams and run with it. My mind is always ticking. That’s why I need a busy job because I have ideas and things of that nature..
SayWhatNews: Also where did you find the strength to change your circumstance and finish school?
Nancy: I had to, I had a child and I really wanted to. My mom was the only one besides my uncle who was adopted that finished high school and had a career.
SayWhatNews: Nancy you speak about verbal abuse, mental abuse and physical abuse during your journey of life growing up and you also speak of your relationship with God. You mention putting on the whole armor of God (Helmet of Salvation, Breastplate of Righteousness, Belt of Truth, Battle Shoes, Sword of the Spirit and Pray In The Spirit) At what defining moment in your life did you realize the need to have Lord Jesus Christ as your foundation?
Nancy: I realized that through it all he had an angel for me. My life was spared several times. Angels are real just like demons and if he did that for me when I wasn’t living for him, I imaged the more he could do if I lived for him. My book is testimony to that. I struggled and fell but God is a patient God. Without him we are nothing.
SayWhatNews. Amen to that. Tell us what is the one important thing you want your readers to learn and reflect on when they read your book?
Nancy: To never look at me as a victim, I am a survivor. I want people to know that it’s never too late and the haters are going to always have something to say. Shoot, people are always going to have something to say but the catch is, are you going to let it stop you. I didn’t and never will. When nay sayers have that much power, man it’s a shame. And age is nothing but a number. You are never too old or young to pursue your dreams. Life’s experiences good or bad are for you to learn from not to beat yourself up about. The one thing I learned is you will never be able to change it. Live for today!
SayWhatNews: Nancy, you have written other books and have several projects in the works to promote “Empowerment” to our youth. Tell us what exactly you have in the works and how those who want to be apart of it and contribute can contact you?
Nancy: Wow, I tell you I never knew I had it me like this, God is a good God. My other books piggy back my life but are written as fictional people. My second book is called Yesterday or Today? Basically which one are you going to live in? I chose today and to forgive. My 3rd book which is being worked on regarding promotion and playwriting, “I’m Not in Love, You’re Just a Booty Call!” Well that is a story of tables turned. Men (some men) have dogged women to the point that they do what men do, it’s about sex and no feelings are involved. That was me some years ago, I could care less and did my thang. Empowerment “YOU” Freedom Center is my next huge project. I am going to get a word doc together that people can sign their names because I want to back up my cause for change especially where I live. Teen pregnancy is better than getting a job, I am disgusted about it. My website www.bondagetofreedom.com has that additional info on the last 2 pages it and donations are being accepted. I need sponsors. This is a worthy cause. Our young women and men have no morals and sex ain’t everything! We need careers, goals, more importantly motivation in the positive direction. This non profit organization in the making isn’t just for women, its targeting the whole factor; it takes 2 to make baby and parents that lack communication skills and so on. My email, phone numbers are on the site as well. A guest book and all that…
SayWhatNews: What’s next in the future for Nancy M. Sellers O’Bryan, the Author, the Entrepreneur and Motivational Speaker?
Nancy: Well I was chosen as a guest speaker for the Shirley Chilsholm Luncheon in November 2009. Further projects include traveling because I am looking forward to meeting all sorts of people to push my books, empowerment center and help change the world with the word of God and my life’s testimony. I am working on opening my own publishing company. The name is BDA Publishing, short for Better Dayze Ahead, purposely spelled with a Z; because that’s the last letter in the alphabet meaning it takes a while to see those days. I help other people write, I have found that to be a great experience, I do graphics for covers, I build websites. I am talented, I do hair. I plan on writing more because I have 2 special books in my heart and I see movies, producing, so much more. I am not holding anything back. I am using my talents that God gave me. My other info can be found at, see blow
SayWhatNews: Thanks so much for sharing your story with those who need to be inspired and motivated. Your story provides proof that although you are struggling and going through rough times whatever it maybe that you too can reach the light and live a better/greater life.
Nancy M. Sellers O'Bryan Website
Better Dayze Ahead Website